Grand Piano 2.0: I Can See Clearly Now

The Tale

Sometimes we need a little perspective to see clearly. How about a real example?

I have a very good friend, Larry Scherzer, who hired me to work at The Private Bank of California—a  tale for another day which will be entitled “The Proper First Interview”—and also got me hooked-up with Community Bank. Needless to say, I owe him a lot more than vice versa. Larry and I have stayed in touch since I left California seven or so years ago but, like all relationships, our connection waxes and wanes but, like the moon, remains a solid, consistent and an immovable object.

Recently, we went through a post-pandemic, waning crescent---Larry was busy; I was busy; it happened to all of us—and we hadn’t touched base in a while when, out of the blue, I got an invite request for a zoom with Larry. One of the things I was busy with was my mother-in-law, who was in the process of “moving on, moving up” and the call was scheduled for a time when Geri and I would be at the nursing home. I was excited to reconnect and I excused myself--not at a critical time at all; I am not an insensitive idiot--to go out to the car and get on the zoom. I go through all the “join meeting” stuff and turn on my camera. I looked pretty good in my opinion even though there we some connectivity issues. Then, I hear the zoom “doink.” And up pops Larry and another friend, Joel Berman.

A little background is in order here. Larry has made a point of eating and living super healthy over the last ten plus years. He prides himself on this, rightfully so, and is now down to his high school weight. Quite remarkable although I tease him, “Are you shooting for your first grade weight? You lose any more and your will vanish if you turn sideways.”

And the first words out of Larry’s mouth, or anybody’s mouth for that matter, after we haven’t talked in like 6-9 months, are, “Dave…You look really fat.” Now, this is the second time this happened to me. The other was when my wife and I went visit Baba one time, the door opens, and Baba says, “Dave, you’refat.” I mean at least Larry hadn’t seen me in a while. Baba saw me every week. I guess epiphanies happen all the time.

Anyway, after I stop laughing, I respond, “It’s good to see you too, Larry.” But I was wondering if it was true or if it was just the camera.

Given the multiple occurrences of being greeted this way, I was forced to the logical conclusion. Nope, it wasn’t the camera or the bad connection. It was true and I had been wrestling with my sorry fat self for a while, again, sometimes winning, sometimes losing, trying this and trying that, but: a) never really admitting that I was a little too generous; b) unwilling to admit the “root cause”—It’s junk good and in between meals snacking; c) too close to the situation to call it like it was; and d) my opponent had me on pounds.

You know, sometimes, it takes stepping away from a situation to really see it sharp relief. And, despite my shock at Larry’s first comments to me after we had not talked in 6-9 months—am I being too sensitive—I am glad he gave me a true, honestperspective. Which I needed. That is what friends do!! And so, I took action, figured out a process that should work for me and, knock on wood, it is working so far.

I can see clearly now. The rain has stopped. Let’s hope there are no more storm clouds on the horizon this time and, if there are, I get a Larry or a Baba to point that out.

The Business Angle

Call it what you want—tunnel vision, near-sightedness, innate bias, the way we’ve always done it, laziness, fear of changing—the inability to see our weaknesses, flaws, missteps, on the one hand, and opportunities, on the other, is often very difficult.

It’s not so hard to understand why. We, the business person aretoiling in the weeds day in and day out and taking a step back and getting a fresh perspective on our own is many times difficult to impossible. We are also running hard and fast. It is like driving a car on the super highway…you concentrate on the road ahead, not the scenery. And you are trying to get some place. That’s what running or being in a business is all about…most times.

There are a number of ways to “see clearly” in a business context. Having an advisory board is always helpful. Being a member of YPO, where you can present problems to your peers, is another one. Hiring a consultant works sometimes. Talking to your spouse or a friend helps. But you have to put them in a position where they feel comfortable giving you true, tough messages or you are not going to get any needed advice. And, as importantly, unsolicited ones. Like Larry or Baba.

Or you can just get away and maybe do it yourself.

I have found that taking a vacation—I used to try to take some sort of vacation very three months—to slow your mind, get a new perspective, stop at a business rest stop—often does the trick and it is enjoyable. And you are with family hopefully.

Can’t take vacations? (This will be another homily.) Attend a trade show, a seminar, etc. Still working but being at a trade show or a seminar or an industry gathering let’s you exit the highway, pull into a rest stop, and might just give you enough time and distance to clear your head and get some perspective. And you’re not that far from getting back on the highway.

The Catholic Angle

There are many ways to do this but a really good one is to go on retreat. It is the spiritual equivalent of pulling into a rest stop. You can have a cup of St. Joe, refill the spiritual gas tank with some high-test and get back on the highway of life.

Three great retreat recommendations; two organized by the Passionists and one by the Redemptorists. The Passionists have a Retreat Center in Sierra Madre, CA (https://materdolorosa.org/) and a Retreat Center in Pittsburgh (https://passionistsspiritualplaces.org/st-paul-of-the-cross). Both locations are amazingly beautiful, although the CA property may still be recovering from the impact of the fires, and offer thoughtful, very spiritual experiences.  The Redemptorist property is located literally on the Atlantic Ocean in Long Branch, NJ. (https://www.sanalfonsoretreats.org/) Enough saidabout that one.

Again, a retreat is great way to get your faith act back together and your life act together too. Give it a try.

Show a little faith.